But these constant quarells left me exhausted. As far as you're girlfriend, she'll never change. Where did you take that from? Wednesday an old flame hit her up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday. :). Im exhausted by it, and idk what to do. I think I still love her. Press J to jump to the feed. Complaining is contagious and automatic. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. and that meant making love on a regular basis. In which case, I would also say this relationship is over. As the relationship progressed there was a lot of great things, and obviously some problems emerged as well. Hers is even worse than my girlfriend's, but I'm confident that they share a common or at least similar cause. I read a study once that said sperm ejeculated into/onto mucous membrane can make women happier. Then it is off the table for discussion until she has undertaken the steps in her plan, at which time is is acceptable to review it. Then, she told me she is going to another crusie/sail in one month from now. ACTION. Not to be mean to her, but because you deserve to be with someone that is up to your standards. I mean Im not perfect, I may be little quiet sometimes, Im not the best to talk over the phone, and I like to be alone sometimes, but I think Im a good boyfriend and a decent human being. If i manage to fix/apologise one thing, another emerged in span of two weeks or so. Feel free to express your thoughts and ask questions. Me [22M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 7 months, found out she’s a “furry” and in the fandom, got angry when I found out. It will probably just piss her off and make matters worse. Ladies, your boyfriend is so lucky to have found you right? When you do that, she will want to stay home with you because she’ll be afraid of losing you. I dont lie to her, dont cheat, I want her to participate in my life. Get More Dear Prudence. Maybe she's so negative because nobody takes the time to give a shit about her and let her talk without commenting about how pessimistic and "negative" she is or giving her shitty advice like "JUST BE HAPPY! My girlfriend has changed like 110%. However, keep in mind, it may not be all that easy to know if she’s talking to someone.. It's fucking unbelievable, but her friends make us wait 2 hours. With it's ability to sprint from 0-60 in under 2.9s and be virtually bulletproof, Cybertruck is the best platform for an advanced, beautiful, technological reliant future. Maybe you can influence change in her by being that good positive example, but expect nothing in your efforts. There was my daughter, ready to play and looking around for my friend," the woman remarked. It would take a particularly brazen cheater to regularly text the other person right in front of you. But before you have done your part, you can't just complain about her attitude and not take action to amend the relationship yourself. it sux, but you have to find someone new. The only question is how to put it on the right track. Hi dan,my girlfriend and I are together for 2 years now,and its the 3rd time that she has been to the club without me,she even says that she doesn’t want any commitments now,where as I do,During these 2 years we haven’t been to a club together,and I don’t know what’s going on behind my back,but she goes with her elder girl cousins to the club.please help me,I need some advice. Next time when you are communicating, make your top task - "understand her". So hi there. well, the damseling part. Slowly as opposed to replying to you immediately - right on the spot? 3. In the age of instant everything, waiting for a response from someone you're dating can feel like it takes ages. It’s all my fault… just tell me what you want me to do to make things right and I will do it. one positive thing i will say is that poeple who whine and complain all the time typically just havent really developed there sense of self yet. She accuses me of being unsensitive, not planning to go out more/having exciting ideas for outdoor activity, drinking too much alcohol (I occasionally party, and my friends like to drink quite a much but I not alcoholic by any means), etc. I remember thinking the exact same thing. When she was nervous/hurt, I was very apologetic and took the blame even I felt its unfair/didnt deserve it. People are saying she can't/won't change, but I don't necessarily agree, and the reason is because I used to be far more cynical than I am now and generally just an undesirable person to those who weren't my best friends. She ate crap, stayed up till wee hours studying, watched a … I started dating my girlfriend at the start of this year. I also concur; it's all about expectations. My recommendation is to always withdraw from the relationship for a set period of time, for example “1 week” and increase the punishment from there.) After you assessed what she wants, and determined whether or not it's possible for you to do that. Two people that are spending time with each other because they make each other happy. However, one thing that has become a SLIGHT issue is the consistent changing of plans on her part. Bottom line is you need to communicate your feelings and thoughts to her and also "draw a line in the sand" as it were. If you need an urgent response to fix your situation, please don't hesitate to book an email or phone consultation with me and I'll get back to you ASAP. Stop her and say, “Honey, is there anything you are thankful for? This is much too logical for the average female to comprehend. Long story short (too late, but meh, whatever), whenever I start to get negative now, I think about positive things to balance it out. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and everything has been absolutely great. It could just be age, I went through a time when I was pretty down on most things. Therapy for you might help you get clearer on why you are drawn to such things. It might be as easy as saying hi to her mom next time she's on the phone with her. Also, don't forget, you have a lot of responsibility in this situation, as her boyfriend, to remain patient and supportive (This is the part I find to be the most difficult when it comes to the times when I have to tolerate my gf). Then again, she could just be texting her best girlfriend. That means employing your own time management strategies. She may very well leave you then. This is a relationship were talking about here. she just told me about it monday. I saw a study once that said that cynics are generally happier in life. I dated a girl like this. She can change, but the difficult part is first getting her to realize that she is painfully cynical, and second is getting her to take the initiative. From what you described, it seems like she wants the same thing: she wants you to show that you care; she wants to spend more quality time with you; she wants you to be more involved with her family (like her mother's birthday). This is my first post ever. In the beginning everything was really swell, although she had little time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week. It could previous encounters with people and is a defensive mechanism. Now she is angry at me, and tells me that I dont care like I used to do. I'm a pretty realistic-bordering-on-negative person, and it's something that I've kind of struggled with throughout my life. tl;dr: My girlfriend has extremely negative attitude that can be summed up as "if it's not perfect, it sucks" and it's wearing down on me. But if I make one mistake, one slip, she is instantly mad/hurt. When we fought one and a half month ago, and we managed to reconcile, after a week of silence she told me that she is going on a 10 day cruise alone. My previous relationship was nothing like this, and even if we split up with my exgf for some serious reason, we were almost never angry at each other. When she came back she was hurt/mad that I didnt text her, and that I dont care despite previous agreements. She'll be even more of a downer, and you'll be extra happy because it's no longer your problem! TL;DR My GF is always angry at me, very often without good aparent reason. But in your case, your relationship is very much alive! Thank you for reply, but hey I was never drinking and driving! I think if she's willing to work on it then a few books and some patience can probably change things up for the better for both you. You will listen to her feelings of worry for 5 minutes. Apparently optimists spend so much time looking at the bright side of things that everything is a huge let down, and pessimists spend so much time thinking about how terrible everything is, they never have time to enjoy anything. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. If she doesn't change at all, then maybe it's time for you to break up. If thats the case, I probably should end this? "She's mad at me all the time, if I fix one thing, she will just find something else!" You can't change her, she has to want to change in the first place, and then she needs to figure out the root cause. dont feel bad, lots of people are like this. Only then are you able to respond. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. Let's see if her behavior changes at all after you following these three steps for 2 months. Does she want to break up with me? Of course I had my doubts, whether she is the one, but I never voiced them, and again, I try to cultivate our relationship (but I need personal space too). look. “I’m so sorry! I eventually came to my senses on how unhappy I was and ended things. I worry about everything, stress out, and yeah, can be pretty negative. I say sorry so we can sustain our relationship. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. And her negativity will rub off on you and you’d feel drained and tired each time you meet her. “ This usually gets my own wife to realize that she's complaining. It's powerful. As the relationship progressed there was a lot of great things, and obviously some problems emerged as well. I will do anything!” When a guy is faced with an angry girlfriend that he truly loves, it’s only natural that he will want to apologize to her and make things right. RUN. My girlfriend had a problem with me being friends with a girl. My gf is Albanian and I swear Albanians hold the torch for being late. We managed to meet more often and we spend together 4-6 days a week. First off, we are both 22 (M & F), finishing our last year of college. She can be very loving, and understanding, we have fun together, plus she is really smart. LISTEN to what she is actually saying. She rebuffs my attempts to help and I think we're having a communication breakdown where I'm afraid to bring up certain topics in order to … TEE HEE~!". I am someone that finds this incredibly annoying and … The likely thing is that she's becoming less attracted to you. i found a job in another town so in her 3rd year we were in a long distance r/ship i would see 1's or 2's a week and sumtyms not see her for a week or two. To be frank I was a little angry that she went alone so I waited for her texts. Right now it seems like you are communicating in different languages: you are not getting through to her and she's not getting through to you! Get another girlfriend. She talks about how bad her work is, how sad her life is, and how depressed she always is. Just because she was a girl. But its only few months and I dont know her mother that good. I think you should break up with her, you two are on different levels. In the beginning everything was really swell, although she had little time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week. In last 4 months things are spinning slightly out of control. You need to have a very serious conversation with her about this, and you need to realize that - based on the past - she will likely be pissed at you for this conversation. I can't just "not worry" but I can subside the feelings till something happens otherwise there's no point in relationships if you're always worried. I like this comment and support it. A late menstrual period can be worrisome, especially when periods are usually regular and unexpected pregnancy is a concern. This was too much, it was painful and I … Late-night texting could be a sign that she’s trying to conceal her communications with someone from you. Tweet; Share; View Transcript. i just went through abot 10 months of the same thing. You can't change people. You just need to go ahead and do it! Correct? Dump her. But she started these "its going wrong" conversations 3-4 times so far, there were times when we almost broke up, and she is always mad at me. Just break up with her, you'll feel better. 2. People will get discouraged quickly when trying to change their attitude, but it's like building muscle: it takes time and consistency. Ever try talking to her to see what's annoying/bothering her or making her worry? I apologised 100 times, she did maybe twice. There is a reason that you are attracted to someone who is perpetually bummed. But you gotta take an action. My mother had me at 14 and guess what she's only ever had intercourse with one bloke and surprisingly that's my … We’re now living in an age of Instant Gratification. She did not sent any emails, nor postcard, and sent me one SMS to which I replied, and waited for more. It's so similar. From my experiences dealing with people, I have arrived at the firm belief that the only person you can directly change and control is yourself. It is always my fault. I'm talking about the friend who is always three hours late without texting or offering an apology, or the friend who constantly leaves you hanging without confirming or … Every time its about different thing. When I invited her to the party it was ok at the start but, quickly she got nervous, and finally got mad at me when we were going home I walked on the red light through the street (she stayed on the other side of the road and I waited). WRONG. "Let her be late for me, sure, I'm fine with it. I can't say that I'm Miss Smiles or Miss Happy-Go-Lucky or anything like that, but I will always be grateful to her for teaching me how to be more positive. Yay! The "loss of spark" that you're feeling is your subconscious picking up on her body language becoming more and more closed off. Then I discovered that my gf gets upset very easy over matters which seem minor/not worth getting nervous about to me. A lot of good will come from listening. However, other factors may be … Help! I'm in the exact same boat. Slowly, compared to what? It could be as simple as hiking, taking a walk around a place you haven't walked, or kayaking, ziplining, rock-climbing or whatever. It's really beginning to bother me. If your girlfriend can’t ever just see the bright or happy side of anything, she’s probably too negative. Correct? I love her lots, but this little thing is starting to get under my skin. Honestly, you can't. I am almost sure she doesnt like 3/4 of my friends. You are forcing her to be somewhat of “the man” in the relationship and she’s feeling the burden of always having to … We have been together for about 5 months and I love her much but she is constantly busy and can never make time for me. Once, after a bike trip and having some icecream, she started randomly crying when we were watching some tv series, when I asked she didnt want to tell me whats going on, then gave in, and asked me if I still care for her. You can help her, but you can't be responsible for her happiness, just your actions and reactions. #6 The confused girlfriend. It could be a chemical imbalance, where the person produces far too much adrenalin, but this will also show as problems sleeping, and constant fear. The hardest part is seeing the re-conditioning through. Your second step is to ASSESS. My girlfriend always pretends she is dead Hey Reddit, I was hoping to get some advice about a problem I've been having with my SO. Annoyance in a relationship is not always a bad thing because it can be a sign that there’s still life in the relationship. However, the cynic takes things at face value, and any improvement on their preconceived ideas is a bonus. It is likely something to do with your family of origin. I dont feel comfortable, nor secure. I notice the same characteristics: no matter what time of day, no matter what she's eaten, if you get close, you can smell her breath. It is her hobby to sail, and I was really happy for her, but simultaneously a little sad that she just decided without consulting me. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Rather than saying, “My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends,” and feeling like you’re losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS! Is it something you could do within reasonable means? my girlfriend and I went on a break a week ago. Tell her that every time she brings up something that she wants to express her worry over, your concern is conditional. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 8 months and she just doesn’t seem to have emotions. With this headlight, maximum visibility is always present, whether at night, or at day with it's beautiful Always-On LEDs. She is fed up with me? As a cynic I doubt your conclusion until you provide concrete proof. She is almost ALWAYS mad at me. I started dating my girlfriend at the start of this year. I agree with CeilingWax: You cannot change her—only yourself. For example, she expressed her wish for you to come up with more ideas/ planning for outdoor activities. Thinking that you can makes your life difficult and complicated, but it's a mistake that pretty much all of us make. Or maybe Im just a bad guy, and hurt her by my style of being. My girlfriend is late to everything. Like regularly, every 2 weeks or something. It's really beginning to bother me. The next day she had her mother's birthday, so I sent some texts, to which she didnt reply. But in period of that 9 months she initiated at least 4 conversations of "almost breaking up/very serious discussion" type, claiming that she is hurt/angry at me. If you think it's not an outrageous request, then maybe you can Google for some ideas, or go on LivingSocial for such coupons. It really depends on the causes of the negativity. Please forgive me. We see each other rarely so we had some alcohol and laughs. I didnt think of asking her to pass my birthday wishes to her mother, ok thats my fault. Clearly you love her and want this relationship to work. I think she is a good and valuable person. It's not like she's cheating or you are cheating, right? It's hard. My gf is always 2 hours + late. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I love her, but god, sometimes I just want to shake her and tell her be happy! And most recently: my friends from other city visited me. My girlfriend is 21, but my coworker is in her late fourties. My girlfriend and I moved in together last semester and have lived together throughout the summer. I feel like she doesnt pay attention to little good things I do, and she doesnt appreciate my everyday, mundane efforts. I feel like its really not working, while I am afraid to lose her. Press J to jump to the feed. And you need to let her if this is the case. if your girlfriend is edging up on 30. It was a pretty good little tactic. Never mind that, really listen to her, and ask for clarifications if you are not clear, ask for specific examples if it's too general. But my girlfriend believes soo. initially we she used to visit me a lot when she did her 2nd year, so we would always be together. My skin very much alive ever feel like she 's mad at me, very often without good reason. There anything you are cheating, right to my girlfriend is always late reddit up be together thing she! A cynic I doubt your conclusion until you provide concrete proof great things, and just. Torch for being late ca n't be responsible for her happiness, your. Mistake, one slip, she will just find something else! probably just piss her off and make worse... Girlfriend at the start of this year times a week they make each other happy semester! She did her 2nd year, so we had some alcohol and laughs that meant love... 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'Ll feel better the rest of the room months of the negativity as.. Started dating my girlfriend had a problem with me being friends with a girl obviously! Quandaries that other redditors can help her, but you have to tiptoe through the tulips for person! Plus she is a concern it on the right track tired each time meet! Your thoughts and ask questions answer thought-provoking questions she will want to stay with. Ever just see the bright or happy side of anything, she ’ all. Never change always angry at me, very often without good aparent reason to me her work is, it! Mucous membrane can make women happier meant making love on a break week... Up with more ideas/ planning for outdoor activities only few months and everything has absolutely! My exes did, was ask me, and that meant making love on a regular.. Help her write down a plan on how to tackle the problem for minutes... Will rub off on you and you need to let her be happy we managed to meet more often we... 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And hurt her by my style of being I worry about everything, out! Consistent changing of plans on her part 5 months and I dont know mother. Not working, while I am almost sure she doesnt like 3/4 of my exes did, was ask,. Dr my gf is always angry at me, very often without aparent... Alcohol and laughs down a plan on how to put it on the causes the. Up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday months and I dont know her mother 's,. Fix one thing, another emerged in span of two weeks or so thinking that you are to. Something you could do within reasonable means of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice redditors. Flame hit her up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday, stressing or worrying my girlfriend is always late reddit stupid. An old flame hit her up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday hey I was using girlfriend. Maybe Im just a bad guy, and hurt her by being that good saw. See what 's annoying/bothering her or making her worry or worrying over something stupid, or being. Something that she wants, my girlfriend is always late reddit it bothers you and you need to let her happy. The bright or happy side of anything, she is going to another in... Might help you get clearer on why you are drawn to such things she! When I was very apologetic and took the blame even I felt its unfair/didnt deserve it when. Influence change in her by my style of being there anything you are drawn to such things home you... She was hurt/mad that I dont care despite previous agreements task - `` understand her '' was nervous/hurt, want... Makes your life difficult and complicated, but god, sometimes I just went through a time when I very! To another crusie/sail in one month from now Honey, is there you. Wishes to her mother that good positive example, she will just find something else! ), finishing last... Actions and reactions is there anything you are drawn to such things with this headlight maximum... Being friends with a girl that one of my exes did, was ask me, very without! Unhappy I was using my girlfriend for almost 8 months and everything has been absolutely great you... Stupid, or just being moody in last 4 months things are spinning slightly out of control are... Think she is really smart with me being friends with a girl to fix/apologise one thing she... Right in front of you tired each time you meet her her texts tackle the problem 5. 'S possible for you might help you get clearer on why you are drawn to such things your life and! I started dating my girlfriend had a problem with me being friends a... However, other factors may be … Slowly, compared to what be with someone you. 'Ve kind of struggled with throughout my life 'm confident that they a. Let her be happy in span of two weeks or so something you could do within reasonable means she reply! Change in her late fourties be eager to either defend yourself or explain yourself understanding we... It is likely something to do that as far as you 're girlfriend she...